Tonight brought the best of surprises. After all that complaining I did several days/weeks ago about eating out, with NO healthy options, Evangeline and I shared a plate, that was completely "Evie-Safe", as I like to call it. We went to Longhorns, I wasn't too hungry, but went along for the ride, as I often do. We arrived there, and Looking at the kids menu to see, and JUDGE, what unhealthy foods are offered our children, I was very surprised! They had grilled chicken and veggies! I was elated! So I ordered it, assuming the chicken does have added fats, I offered Evie Grace a small portion, but meats aren't usually her thing. (well lets face it, ANY food isn't her thing) She put it in her mouth, did the head shake bit and immediately spit it out. But she tried it, which is always a plus! We ordered the Veggies, which of course came with a "Veggie Butter Sauce" that I promptly asked the waitress to not add to ours, and they were great! It came with 2 orange slices, which were right up Evangeline's alley. She sucked the juice out of the orange, and tried bits of carrots and broccoli and some yellow squash. She even reached for some water towards the end of her meal and drank, Swallowed, and then went about her merry way. Of course, by this time she was extremely cranky, as she had worked VERY hard. Eating is not an easy thing for her, and she did well! I really feel like inserting an "applause" here.
Alexandra's Birthday Party (My 1 year old Niece)
Evangeline and I hosted Alex's party here, at our house, and of course there was cake, ice cream, sandwiches, etc that she was unable to eat, (due to both fat restrictions and inability to eat much by mouth) However, my wonderful sister was very accommodating and decided to buy her some FF Sherbet. I was very grateful. She didn't have to buy sherbet for her niece who doesn't eat by mouth! But she graciously offered it, and we accepted. We are always willing to try ANYTHING to get this child to eat, as she screams when she sees a bottle, and thrashes her head back and forth at the suggestion of food. (Obviously, she has gotten better, through much therapy, and prayer!!) I digress. She bought the sherbet and when it came time for Ice cream, I scooped some into a bowl, assuming it would get wasted, and thrown away, as do most of the foods I buy for Evie. However, she proved Mommy wrong! She ate several bites of the sherbet, without a fuss! No head turning, nothing. She even put the spoon into her mouth herself. This is something she hasn't done since before G-tube surgery.
All of this to say, we are no where near ready for eating whole meals by mouth, but we are making very slow progress. I am finding the more I work with her, the better she gets. I never force, but I encourage the MESS out of her to eat. Eat anything put in front of her.
Thinking back, to her surgery and what I was scared most about. This is it. I am living it. A bottle aversion, that has turned into food aversion. Something that we will deal with for several years. I remember texting friends telling them that I was afraid of this happening. All the nights spent holding a baby with an NG tube, crying, knowing that this was going to be the outcome. It certainly has been a very long road. And we have a long ways to go, but I am so grateful that I have a God who gave me such a wonderful support system. Moms that have tube fed kids. Moms that have kids with FOD's. Moms that have been through this and so much more. People that I can truly lean on for great advice, practical help, and just to be there when some things fall apart.
I am also blessed for other friends who have perfectly healthy kids. Ones that I can look and say, that will be us. ONE day! Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday things are bound to get better. These friends are so sweet and special to me! They uplift me, and pray for me! They comfort me when I have lost faith in God. (Which has happened many times) They may not even know it, but I look at their families, and I admire them and look to them for what we will be. They give me goals, insight on how to be a better christian, and parent. I used to look at them with envy, because they had "perfect" kids, but thankfully, prayerfully, I have grown, (...I hope!!) and now look to them for encouragement.
I'm not sure what inspired me to come clean about my feelings lately. Perhaps its Evie's 1 year birthday Celebration coming up. Perhaps its the Christmas Spirit, wanting me to tell all my friends how much I truly need them! Maybe its just time I thanked everyone. I am not sure.
I know that I have a long way to go as a Christian and wife and mother. Evangeline and I have a long road to travel. We are a long ways away from any meals that are ONLY eaten by mouth. But I look at where we came from. And.....WOW!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
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