Wisdom

Oh My Sweet Baby.

She has slept really well through the night. So well, that I am having difficulty getting her to finish her bottle. She sleeps like a little angel and I hate to wake her up, but I have to... every 2 hrs. It stinks because we are putting rice cereal in her bottle. This is to help thicken it up, so that it has a harder time coming back up. Unfortunatly, it makes it thicker, so its harder for her 7lb body to suck it out. Also, it has to dissolve really well, so you have to get the bottle really hot. So here is an outline of a typical feeding now:

8:45am- Cup of water goes into microwave for 4 min. I get the bottle ready (pouring formula and adding rice cereal, put bottle together) figure out what meds she needs to take, get that in a syringe. 8:50am- put the ready bottle into hot water. 8:55am pick baby up to begin waking her, change diaper. 9:00-baby cries, check to see if bottle is ready. 9:30am bottle is done or as done as its going to be. Calm baby down, try to get her to go back to sleep. 9:45 Mom crawls back into couch that has become her bed. 10:45 am, process begins again.

My cognitive thinking skills are beginning to get fuzzy. I am not trying to complain, but I get somewhat cranky when I can't sleep. I am hoping she can outgrow this reflux mess very soon. Its so hard. For me, for Patrick for sure, and all my friends who keep hearing the same things over and over again. I am very thankful that they dont hang up the phone or ignore my texts. I would be utterly lost. I keep praying, but I don't hear anything. I know He has not left me. I know he is with me, helping me day to day, and I could not imagine going through this without God by my side. He was with Job, when he was being tested, and my situation is nothing like that. I just keep asking him for strength and for the wisdom to do what is right for Evie. Sometimes I do feel alone. I wonder if I am just not listening well enough. I know this happened to us for a reason. I can take care of her, unlike some other families out there. God gives special Babies to special families, right? These are just the things I tell myself, to get through the day (and night ha! )

God has given me some wonderful family and friends. They listen, they help out when they can and most of all they pray. I am so thankful for you guys. Thanks for not giving up on us or getting annoyed with us! We love you!